Things I Learned

 
There are things that bothered me for past few weeks. And bcoz of that, I realized several things. Arrgh! Why I let this attitude of mine creep in. That when I am angry, I just kept silent but my heart is already bursting and wanted to end up everything.. too bad..That is something I have to change. Hmm… Maybe I should take up anger management sessions.

I seldom get fuming. When I'm mad, there's always a reason. It's not true that I just start to freak out and destroy other people's moods for no grounds at all although sometimes, the cause is not very sensible.

 
Sunday is one of the worst day I had. I did not think first before I said or did something. I can't blame to anyone . I can't even recall all the things I uttered and the way I acted that time. Others are afraid of me. I don't feel bad about the person who said that. They may consider it childish and stupid, re-enact what I did.

 
It's easy for people to realize their mistakes (because people are capable of distinguishing what is right from wrong). But in the same way as it is hard for people to forgive someone who have done wrong to them, it's not easy to ask forgiveness and admit your mistakes to someone you have done wrong. You have to swallow your pride and say "I'm sorry" sincerely. When I had the chance, I decided to grab it. And I said it. It may sound hypocritical to them but God knows how apologetic I was.

 
Yet looking at the brighter side, I gained knowledge about a lot of things. Here are some of them:

• That the ONLY friend who will always be there for me, Who will not cut off our bond of friendship just because I hurt Him, Who will try to understand and forgive me when I ask for His forgiveness and admit my mistakes to Him, Who will accept me for who I am no matter what, Who will always love me unconditionally is GOD.
• Think first before trusting somebody. He/she may use what you have said to him/her against you someday.
• People are narrow-minded sometimes. They're also self-centered, always thinking about their selves.
• Some people enjoy the pleasure of gossips. It's like nothing in the world could make them happier than sharing a gossip with their gossip-loving friends.
• Always say "thank you", "please", "sorry" or "po", "ate" or "kuya" (to those older than you). Some people consider it as their only measure of respect. So don't forget to respect people. It's very important.
• Talk to people in the most polite way. Just because you have maids at home, some people may think you are talking to them as if they're your maid if you don't talk to them in the nicest way.
• Never forget the age difference between you and a friend. If your friend's older than you and you both encounter an argument, he/she may ask you to face the fact that – "Hey! Respect! Remember I was born to this earth earlier than you!"
• I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. You are not in this world to live up with mine. You are you and I am I… You know the rest of it.
• You don't need to satisfy other people. Just enjoy what you are doing.
• People can't judge you because they (and even your friends) don't know you. They may assume whatever they want to assume about you and your attitude. But they can't judge you because they're more ignorant than a pig (the pig's an intelligent animal) when it comes to knowing you.
• Sometimes, people you call friends are those who can't understand you.
• I may be like this, and like that… But never say where I will end up with because today is where my book begins, you're not the author of the book – and the rest is still unwritten!
• Think first before you say something. You cannot easily get back the words that have been said.
• It's nice to have a few close friends whom you can always hang out with. But it's also nice to learn about other people, not always focusing on your own set of friends. There are a lot of interesting people around you, just open your eyes you'll see.
  
• When your friends say you don't respect them, it's not true. How come you became friends if there's no respect among you? Unless they're not really your friends… Hmmm…
• Some people are capable of pushing their friends away. Some people are capable of cutting the bond of friendship between them and their friends.
• The worst thing people could do to their friends is to consider them as strangers.
• People who speak about other people have small minds.
• When people think that you're intelligent, be proud of it. Then be kind. Think that they're intelligent people, too.
• To win friends, you don't have to give them something. You're not winning real friends that way.
• Stop the drama! Get real. Be sincere. Talk to people.
• Be thankful that the cellphone is invented. If you want to say something to a person, do it through your cellphone. It's just a text message away. Tell everything through text. After all, you don't have the courage to tell it personally.
• Acceptance. A real friend accepts your shortcomings.
• Sometimes for some people, "sorry" is not enough. For others, it's more than enough.
• When people talk, it's not your responsibility to listen to them, especially if you have already heard about it. You have the option not to listen.
• People may advise you. Tell you things that you should do. But seeing their actions, it's as if they never heard themselves, doing the exact opposite of the advices they've given to other people.
• You can't please everybody. Now that is a fact.
• People can't watch each and every word they say. They're driven by emotions most of the time. We just need to understand that.<

Not because terrible things have happened mainly because of what I've done, the world will stop. It will never stop. Life has to continue. I am happy I learned a lot of things.

       I am wondering at this very minute if you are
       thinking of me, if like me,  you are wondering
       what is taking us so long to find each other. Many
       times I thought I finally found you only to be
       disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I
       get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.
 
       I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be
       as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or
       is it possible that I have known you all my life but
       we have yet to realize that we are meant for each
       other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you
       are the only one who has the answers to all my
       questions.
 
       Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really
       known "love". I do not have the answer to that
       question either but I believe that, more often than not,
       we will never really know what love is until we
       find that right person.... and since I have not found
       you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!
 
       You just don't know how often I dream of finally
       knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this
       very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep
       me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by
       your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you
       manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!
 
      I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God
      will help me recognize you when the right time comes.
      I think of all the pain that I have gone through
      in the past and of how much I have cried since the
      day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that
      I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the
      beautiful life ahead of  me --- the life I shall spend
      with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that
      you are worth all that pain and sacrifice.
 
      After all, the tears have become a part of my
      life and I believe that they are slowly washing away
      my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect
      in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU!  I wonder
      if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder
      if you've been hurt so many times along the journey.
 
      But my dearest one, please don't ever give up
      because I am right here... patiently waiting for
      you! I assure you that when we finally find each other
      I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.
 
     At night, I would look out my window and stare
     at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are
     also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a
     silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens
     above thinking that in time they would reach you. And
     when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and
     believe  that you are on your way and that you are
     longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall
     asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are
     always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is
     the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to
     tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you
     would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of
     love.
 
      And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up
      and face the  new day ahead with the hope that soon
      enough,  you will no longer be a dream but a reality and
      once  again I am assured that you are worth the wait.
      And when that time comes, everything will fall into its
      place, just as I had imagined, just as I had
      thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be!
      By then, I would simply look back and smile at all
      that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and
      amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very
      thankful  because they all led me to you!
 
     In the meantime, take care of yourself for me.
     Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go.
     Believe in your heart that we will find each other
     no matter what happens. God has planned the
     course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't
     worry, don't be afraid about getting lost, God saw to
     it that all the roads, no matter which one you
     choose to follow, lead to me .
 

After a  tete-a-tete with weng.. She give me this poem. It’s kinda cool and true.

Thank you weng….

Redefining Failure

Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure….

It does mean you haven’t succeeded yet

Failure doesn’t mean you have accomplished nothing…

It does mean you have learned something

Failure doesn’t mean you have been fool…

It does mean you had a faith

Failure doesn’t mean you’ve been disgraced

It does mean you were willing to try

Failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it

It does mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn’t mean you’ve wasted your life

It does mean you have a reason to start

Failure doesn’t mean you should give up…

It does mean you must try harder

Failure doesn’t mean you’ll never make it

It does mean it take a little longer

Failure doesn’t mean God has abandoned you

October 4, 2005

I wonder why my cp alarmed when I’m on my way to office… It’ s a reminder. Happy Birthday Weng! Thanx for coming into my life… You’re such a great friend…. Hai! Sa office naman syempre nag advance birthday party kami. Happy Birthday Rass! I really enjoy your company… We have our lunch sa Pecho pack… ngeek!  6 lng kami… snacks lng ang the rest… hehehhe…After  that  we are very busy kc thinking na aalis na c SD for coreplan.. so all the reports and request must in the table of our SD… waaa.. na postponed.. but still we will pass or else penalty… Thanx God 4 pm plang yahoooo! I’m already finished my reports for signature nlng and pouch. At 6:30 uwian tym… but pumunta pa kami ni jing sa Rob nag pass by kay Rhoda and nag strolling… nag dinner sa Barbecue Park together with TJ.. It’s almost 9:00 na when we finished.

October 03, 2005

 First of the day week… natural busy ang lahat especially na on Wednesday our SD have a core plan in Manila. There are  lot of preparation.. papers to submit, follow-ups para mapadala nlng sa Head Office…. Ang hirap pag walang SD sa branch… malapit na ang deadline ng reports for the month of September but I think 30% plang ang natapos… Ang daming extra curricular na work eh… certifications, AR, Issuances… ok lng at least ang damin accomplishments ang sarap ng feelings… I don’t know why I’m so happy this afternoon feeling ko just bcoz na open ko ang pc ko na sana library nung una.. I miss na kasi. My officemate asked me why I am smiling in front of my pc.. Well, I’m just reading some of files na sinulat ko, mga poems, pictures na downloaded, etc…  Imagine it almost 8 months na wala ko na open ang pc ko… Waaa…. I remember last day pla ngayon ni casper she will be back sa makati na… mamiss ko tuloy cia… I know years naman para magkita kami…

October 2, 2005

I was blessed by the message of Pastor Edward delivered. Na touch gd ko  He is a missionary in Zambia. Mission month naming ngayon. Sayang nga last Sunday d ako naka attend service kc nag attend ako ng wedding ni cousin ko.. Na miss ko tuloy ang blessing. After the service immediately I went to the office since napag usapan na namin ni jing namagkita and I need to meet ang mga students from San Agustin for dry run of their thesis. We have our lunch at Robinson and nag strolling pa kami. Then went back naman sa office. Yes! Dumating c weng… There is a longing kasi na dapat magkita kami…. Wala lng… just to talk, sharing…. Na miss namin   c belle tuloy.

October 01,

Thanks God it’s Saturday…. But I have a lot of things to accomplish. I need to finish the documentation about Automated  Library Information System of National Statistic Office… Hayy salamat at around 9:00 am ready to give na… (Thanx to konz for letting me used her pc for whole night.)  At 12:00 noon sinamahan ko c Rhoda pumunta sa kanyang OB for her monthly check-up dun nlng kami nang lunch sa JD… almost 1:30 na when I came back sa office.. Yehey! Nandun c lei.. I have a new bag… after that excited kami ( jing, regz & rassel ) pumunta sa SM City to watch Dubai.. waaa… crying tym.. nice movie… touching…  inulit pa namin.. almost 5:30 na kami nakalabas sa movie house. Then immediately we went sa Smart center kc bago ang cp ni rassel (N6600) she wanted to open her GPRS…ang kulit namin nga e. Uwian tym na… Nag split kami   c rassel n regz sabay nlng jing and I.. ayy.. pumunta pa kami sa Robinson to watch the freestyle but its too tiring na to wait until 10:00 pm to start. Nagdinner nlng kami ni konz, jing n rhodz sa KFC… Then went home.

  Early morning palang when I woke up I greeted both of them. Actually I really miss so much my twin friend… Too long  we never seen each other… We communicate only through  cellphones. I’m sad when I know what happened to her. But honestly, I never forget to think of her and praying that she can survive of the trials that came to her life. Happy Birthday Best….

                Two before the birthday of regz nag celebrate na cia sa office…Ganyan talaga dito always my handaan… hehehe but this day we planned nag mag go out… I’m not at the office that since I have a meeting in TESDA… I go her message that we have a dinner in Punta Villa… I set my schedule that I will go with her… 1:00 pm na d pa na fnish ang meetings lot of discussion, revision.. very hungry na talaga since d ako naka breakfast…. After the meeting dumiretso nlng ako sa Robinson to have my lunch together with Rhoda and have a small talks… hehhehe… nag unwind for awhile ang sakit kasi ng ulo of all the discussion. Mga 3 pm na ako bumalik sa school.. Haayy… heto, same again there are lots of things to finish especially we have an auditor. At 6:00 Angie fetch me in the office sabay kasi kami pupunta dun…. Hayy.. akala ko I’m the “maarte type” sa group heto sa Lei d sumama kasi d cia daw hinintay… hayyy…so only angie, carlo,  albert and me nagsalo ng birthday ni regz… I like the setting change environment naman.. we ate near sa pool and talks… talks… reminisce when we were together… It’s almost 9:00 pm na kami nakauwi. I’m quite happy this day since Bo bench called me up telling his situation their Dubai and hopefully makapunta ako dun next year daw… He is my confidant especially in man’s perspective. I always cried to him especially when I am emotionally down. I miss you bench.

Three days of staying in sports complex for fun, relaxation, camaraderie and develop sportsmanship and fairness. There are lot of competitions like basketball, football, table tennis, track and fields and parlor games. Every students have their own team.The Cybervirus, shutters, strikers and the Facsos for the faculty / Staff.  I joined in Volleyball, parlor games and the I most enjoyed is in Football. Imagine! It’s raining but It’s really funny… Of course what can we do to the students they have lot of practice but MVP naman ako.. hehehehe… Take a look of some of our pics…

Everybody is excited.. (uniforms, joggings, shoes,….are ready) waaa..  but sad to say there is a National Strike daw… but it is not a hindrance to us… The games continue…

But what I felt bad is our uniforms… I have different expectations… anyway is it already finish..

Take a look…

So what can u say?

One week before each committee’s already prepared of the Sunday’s event. It is a very special day  for us as church member of Hope Baptist Church. We give appreciation to our pastor for being with us and feeding the word of God. For me, I’m very thankful for giving us a pastor like him. I pray that God will bless him more. Dun kami nag lunch and have some games. At afternoon pumunta kami ni mitch nad konz sa city and watch movies…